The Emotional Aspects of Surrogacy



For intended parents it is not easy to accept infertility. In many cases it ultimately leads them to look for surrogacy services. Emotional ups and downs, frustration, anger, family and peer pressure are all things related to infertility issues, and some thing that can take a large emotional toll on intended parents. Above all, huge expenses related to surrogacy laced with the uncertainty affect the mental peace of those who are trying to start a family.

The supportive partnership between the parents plays a very important role wen it comes to accepting the situation and looking another solution. Nowadays, fertility specialists and clinics often have professional counsellors to take care of the psychological aspect of the surrogacy process. A very important part is to clearly explain the pros and cons of fertility treatments and surrogacy service to the intended parents, and to not paint a false picture. After all, intended parents are investing a lot of time, effort and money into the program and also carry high hopes of success. Efficient counselling is often also a helpful tool required if the surrogacy program is not successful.

It is important to understand that surrogacy should not be considered as a womb hiring service, which turns out to be exploitative in many countries. Surrogacy is something much more than a mere service versus remuneration. Surrogacy needs to be considered as a humanitarian service where the surrogate should be educated enough about the process and it’s outcome to be able to take informed and accurate decisions. After all, this is a relationship that has a huge psychological impact on everyone involved

In some cases there is a little bit of a challenge when the time comes for the surrogate mother to hand over the baby that she has carried for nine long months, the baby which legally doesn’t belong to her. The logical mind accepts the fact as she has been tied up with the terms of the agreement but her emotions can be something else. A surrogate may find it very hard to accept this reality, and there are instances where the surrogate mother has found it very difficult to part with her baby after birth.

Professional Counselling for the Surrogate and her Family

What is needed to resolve matters in cases like that is thorough and effective professional counselling. Counselling should be provided both during the pregnancy term and after birth to get the best results.

The emotional attachment to the baby extends beyond the surrogate mother and sometimes as far as her family and relatives.relatives and her family. Partners, children and parents provide support during the surrogate mothers pregnancy, but at the back of their minds they know that some day they will have to part with the child that the care about.

The surrogate’s own children and partner may go through a tough time while handing over the newborn to the legal parents. Family emotion may run high when facing the reality, and the right emotional support from professionals is a great help. One solution is to include the surrogate mother’s family in the process and giving the family some time with the baby before handing over to the intended parents. This could ease the emotional stress.

Emotions and Legal Scenarios

Carrying a baby for nine months is a long enough time for the surrogate mother to become emotionally attached to the child. The legal scenario makes it all the more complicated. In some countries, the law confers a right on the surrogate mother to retain the baby after birth. Here she has the chance to fight to keep the child with her as she is aware of the surrogacy law. This indeed generates a bad situation, and it is a trying time for both the surrogate mother and the intended parents. The only solution is to get updated on the legal aspects of surrogacy and plan accordingly before entering into any agreements.

The Positive Emotions

A professional surrogate goes through the pregnancy knowing that she will have to give the baby to the intended parents. She will experience a feeling of extreme gratification that she had been successful in bringing a smile to the faces of a family which have been deprived of having a baby for so long.

The above factors do not something that should seriously prevent childless couples seeking surrogacy services. But since human minds work in their own way, and emotions are involved, naturally this psychological aspect needs careful handling to achieve the desired success and satisfaction for all parties.